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March 2009 
Only Feedback...
Posted on Feb 4th, 2008
by 
Adie
Adie
"I believe the greatest gift I can conceive of having from anyone is to be seen by them, heard by them, to be understood and touched by them."
Sometimes we feel like we’ve let our friends down, let our mentors down, let our families down and let ourselves down if we have to go back into work after an attempt to strike out on our own.
Sometime when we go back, we hear those “alien voices”, the one who “told us so”. These can often be from the people closest to us, the people who love us the most: family and friends. I wonder whether they are doing the best they can with what they have available to them. What has to be true for them to be acting in this way? Are they afraid of change? Do they want to keep things comfortable? Are they afraid you will get hurt? What is the positive intention behind what seems like negative behaviour?
Going back to work for someone after a setback in your own business can be a positive thing. If the person you work for able to employ people, then they are probably fairly successful. If you must go back, what would happen if you worked for someone who was doing the things you want to do. That being the so, what would happen if you took the opportunity to model them? Suppose you were able to figure out how they do what they do and how they do what they do that makes them successful. What makes them tick?
New Year is the obvious time of year for us to make that "fresh start". We've been making New Year's resolutions since ancient times - many anthropologists believe that the tradition goes back as far as 153 B.C. - and breaking them for just as long. If media reports are true, over 80% of people who made New Year resolutions fail by the end of January.
Recent research found that one in five professionals are unhappy in their current role. A further third were unsure and considering their future. It also found widespread itchy feet, nearly a quarter of staff admitted that they expect to spend only a year or less in their job and half are planning to spend less than three years in their current role.
Three things characterise successful people and organisations: they know what they want, they have a plan, and they believe in themselves. If you don't know where you're going, you'll never get there and if you do you won't recognise it.
So, now that January has come and gone, try something different. Make just one resolution: to spend time thinking about what you've learned, what REALLY want to achieve and to start developing a strategy to get you there. Make February your month for "strategic planning": you wouldn't start a work project without knowing what you're trying to achieve, so apply the same planning to both your work and your own life.
In order to stick with your new resolution and see it through, you need to have a plan, and you need to have ways to deal with obstructions when they hit and opportunities when they arise – because they will! Here are some tips to get you through:
1. Complete the Reflections documents (in My Photos) to kick-start your thinking.
2. Create a detailed plan to reach your goal. You may be familiar with using the SMART model for our business objectives. (SMART = Specific, Measurable, Achievable, Realistic, Time-bound.) I'm going to suggest the PACER model to prompt your thinking:
3. Find people to help you with your vision. (The person doing the business plan, a coach, networks, etc)
4. Remind yourself that YOU are in control of your career, your business and your life.
5. Find one great person who completely supports your vision. This is someone you can call if you are struggling to stay with your resolution. Find someone who will hear you without judgment and offer gentle but firm encouragement to keep you going. In other words, find positive influence to counteract the negative influences all around us. A coach is a great person to use for this.
6. Address what motivates you and work with sound, images, emotions and anything else that will stimulate you.
7. Create a Dream Board, like this:
a. Purchase a large piece of paper or poster board, thumbtacks, glue and sticky tape.
b. In the centre of your board put a picture of you as you’d really love to be.
c. Cut out pictures or words that represent your dreams stick them to your board. The more pictures you can use, the better. (Or draw pictures and stick them to the dream board if that makes you happier).
d. Tack it on the wall.
e. As you continue to achieve your goals and dreams – or as to evolve – keep adding to the dream board, or create replacement dream boards.
f. Spend a few moments contemplating it before you good to sleep.
g. Spend a few moments in front of it before you start your day!
8. Start your day by setting Intentions for that day. An intention can be defined as: “a statement of purpose” or the thought behind the thought… influencing our actions. Intentions are different from goals. They are less measurable. They are more about creating the flavour and direction of the day and might be the biggest component in creating changes in your life. If you set an intention to be “inspirational”, “loving”, “dynamic”, “open and receptive” or “confident and welcoming”, or “present, engaged and listening” or “respectful”, or “happy and healthy”, or “focussed” this will inform how you show up in the world, how you behave and the actions that you take. Intention comes before action.
(See my blog for more on this.)
9. Get a coach!
My friend Richard says you can’t fail before you’re dead, because there’s still time to do something different.
By way of illustration, here’s a short version of an old, old story that may have been set in China, or Africa or South America… doesn’t really matter. Many of you will already know it…
There was an old woman who owned a farm. One year the crops were very bad and it seemed like she would really suffer.
The neighbours came to her and said: “Old woman, your crop has been poor, now you may have to lose your land!”
To which the old woman replied: “Maybe”
The next morning when the village awoke, they noticed that a wild stallion had run into her corral and seemed to be stuck there.
Now horses were highly valued in that area and when the other villagers saw that they rushed to her and said:
“Old woman, you’ve managed to capture the best stallion from the mountains, you’re saved!”
To which the old woman replied: “Maybe”
The next morning, when they looked again, the stallion had escaped back into the mountains. When the villagers saw this they went back to the old woman and said:
“Old woman, now things are worse than ever, you had all that wealth and now it’s gone. How awful!”
To which the old woman replied: “Maybe”
Then the next morning, as the sun was rising, there came something like the sound of thunder rolling down from the mountains. And as the villagers looked out of their homes they saw a huge herd of horses, led by the wild stallion, running into the old woman’s farm.
The villagers were full of joy and ran to the old woman and said:
“Old woman! See your herd of horses! Now you’re richer than ever!”
To which the old woman replied: “Maybe”
And the next morning, the old woman’s son thought he should like to have the stallion for his own. So he went to the corral, threw a saddle on the stallion and jumped onto it. And the stallion was a proud horse, king of the herd, and would not be ridden by any man. So he threw the boy off his back and the boy broke his leg.
When the villagers saw the boy lying there, broken, they carried him back to the old woman and wailed:
“Old woman, what will you do? Now that you son is injured who will work for you? You have nobody to help you. You will lose everything!”
To which the old woman replied: “Maybe”
And the next day, the soldiers came and took all the able bodied men to fight in the war, and the old woman’s son was spared because of his injury.
And as they wept as they watch their son’s disappear over the mountains they cried to the old woman:
“Old woman, you are the lucky one. I sons may died in the battle and you still have yours.”
And old woman replied: “Maybe…”
Adie DeCoursey
Quiddity Solutions
Testimonials
Enigma Solutions
Free coaching session
With the New Year in full swing, January gone and the end of financial year looming for many of us, are you any closer to achieving your organisational and personal goals? If you're determined that this is the year that you're finally going to get to grips with your career, your life or your organisation, if you want to find and live your passions and have a starring role in your own life, it's time to take action. We all know how busy life can be, so I’m giving the gift of a free 25 minute coaching session to the first 12 people who contact me.
This is a practical and effective way of helping to you to start the planning process for your year and deal with whatever's niggling you. You will leave the session with:
• Clarified goals.
• A "next step" action plan.
• Increased personal awareness.
• Hidden challenges revealed.
• Motivation to get the results you desire.
When you're ready to take advantage of this offer, please do get in contact to arrange the session.
Best wishes for the rest of the year.
Virginia Satir
Sometimes we feel like we’ve let our friends down, let our mentors down, let our families down and let ourselves down if we have to go back into work after an attempt to strike out on our own.
Sometime when we go back, we hear those “alien voices”, the one who “told us so”. These can often be from the people closest to us, the people who love us the most: family and friends. I wonder whether they are doing the best they can with what they have available to them. What has to be true for them to be acting in this way? Are they afraid of change? Do they want to keep things comfortable? Are they afraid you will get hurt? What is the positive intention behind what seems like negative behaviour?
Going back to work for someone after a setback in your own business can be a positive thing. If the person you work for able to employ people, then they are probably fairly successful. If you must go back, what would happen if you worked for someone who was doing the things you want to do. That being the so, what would happen if you took the opportunity to model them? Suppose you were able to figure out how they do what they do and how they do what they do that makes them successful. What makes them tick?
~*~
New Year is the obvious time of year for us to make that "fresh start". We've been making New Year's resolutions since ancient times - many anthropologists believe that the tradition goes back as far as 153 B.C. - and breaking them for just as long. If media reports are true, over 80% of people who made New Year resolutions fail by the end of January.
Recent research found that one in five professionals are unhappy in their current role. A further third were unsure and considering their future. It also found widespread itchy feet, nearly a quarter of staff admitted that they expect to spend only a year or less in their job and half are planning to spend less than three years in their current role.
Three things characterise successful people and organisations: they know what they want, they have a plan, and they believe in themselves. If you don't know where you're going, you'll never get there and if you do you won't recognise it.
So, now that January has come and gone, try something different. Make just one resolution: to spend time thinking about what you've learned, what REALLY want to achieve and to start developing a strategy to get you there. Make February your month for "strategic planning": you wouldn't start a work project without knowing what you're trying to achieve, so apply the same planning to both your work and your own life.
In order to stick with your new resolution and see it through, you need to have a plan, and you need to have ways to deal with obstructions when they hit and opportunities when they arise – because they will! Here are some tips to get you through:
1. Complete the Reflections documents (in My Photos) to kick-start your thinking.
2. Create a detailed plan to reach your goal. You may be familiar with using the SMART model for our business objectives. (SMART = Specific, Measurable, Achievable, Realistic, Time-bound.) I'm going to suggest the PACER model to prompt your thinking:
P = Positive
What specifically do you want? (rather than what you don't want)
A = Achievement
How will you know you have it?
How will you measure it?
What will you see, hear, smell, taste, feel (as appropriate)?
How would someone else know you had it?
C = Context
When do you want it? (in what situations?)
When don't you want it?
With whom?
Where?
When do you want it by?
E = Ecology
What would happen if you got it?
If you get what you want, would you loose anything?
Is it representative of who you are and where you want to be?
R = Resources
Can you initiate and maintain it?
Is it achievable?
3. Find people to help you with your vision. (The person doing the business plan, a coach, networks, etc)
4. Remind yourself that YOU are in control of your career, your business and your life.
5. Find one great person who completely supports your vision. This is someone you can call if you are struggling to stay with your resolution. Find someone who will hear you without judgment and offer gentle but firm encouragement to keep you going. In other words, find positive influence to counteract the negative influences all around us. A coach is a great person to use for this.
6. Address what motivates you and work with sound, images, emotions and anything else that will stimulate you.
7. Create a Dream Board, like this:
a. Purchase a large piece of paper or poster board, thumbtacks, glue and sticky tape.
b. In the centre of your board put a picture of you as you’d really love to be.
c. Cut out pictures or words that represent your dreams stick them to your board. The more pictures you can use, the better. (Or draw pictures and stick them to the dream board if that makes you happier).
d. Tack it on the wall.
e. As you continue to achieve your goals and dreams – or as to evolve – keep adding to the dream board, or create replacement dream boards.
f. Spend a few moments contemplating it before you good to sleep.
g. Spend a few moments in front of it before you start your day!
8. Start your day by setting Intentions for that day. An intention can be defined as: “a statement of purpose” or the thought behind the thought… influencing our actions. Intentions are different from goals. They are less measurable. They are more about creating the flavour and direction of the day and might be the biggest component in creating changes in your life. If you set an intention to be “inspirational”, “loving”, “dynamic”, “open and receptive” or “confident and welcoming”, or “present, engaged and listening” or “respectful”, or “happy and healthy”, or “focussed” this will inform how you show up in the world, how you behave and the actions that you take. Intention comes before action.
(See my blog for more on this.)
9. Get a coach!
~*~
My friend Richard says you can’t fail before you’re dead, because there’s still time to do something different.
By way of illustration, here’s a short version of an old, old story that may have been set in China, or Africa or South America… doesn’t really matter. Many of you will already know it…
There was an old woman who owned a farm. One year the crops were very bad and it seemed like she would really suffer.
The neighbours came to her and said: “Old woman, your crop has been poor, now you may have to lose your land!”
To which the old woman replied: “Maybe”
The next morning when the village awoke, they noticed that a wild stallion had run into her corral and seemed to be stuck there.
Now horses were highly valued in that area and when the other villagers saw that they rushed to her and said:
“Old woman, you’ve managed to capture the best stallion from the mountains, you’re saved!”
To which the old woman replied: “Maybe”
The next morning, when they looked again, the stallion had escaped back into the mountains. When the villagers saw this they went back to the old woman and said:
“Old woman, now things are worse than ever, you had all that wealth and now it’s gone. How awful!”
To which the old woman replied: “Maybe”
Then the next morning, as the sun was rising, there came something like the sound of thunder rolling down from the mountains. And as the villagers looked out of their homes they saw a huge herd of horses, led by the wild stallion, running into the old woman’s farm.
The villagers were full of joy and ran to the old woman and said:
“Old woman! See your herd of horses! Now you’re richer than ever!”
To which the old woman replied: “Maybe”
And the next morning, the old woman’s son thought he should like to have the stallion for his own. So he went to the corral, threw a saddle on the stallion and jumped onto it. And the stallion was a proud horse, king of the herd, and would not be ridden by any man. So he threw the boy off his back and the boy broke his leg.
When the villagers saw the boy lying there, broken, they carried him back to the old woman and wailed:
“Old woman, what will you do? Now that you son is injured who will work for you? You have nobody to help you. You will lose everything!”
To which the old woman replied: “Maybe”
And the next day, the soldiers came and took all the able bodied men to fight in the war, and the old woman’s son was spared because of his injury.
And as they wept as they watch their son’s disappear over the mountains they cried to the old woman:
“Old woman, you are the lucky one. I sons may died in the battle and you still have yours.”
And old woman replied: “Maybe…”
Adie DeCoursey
Quiddity Solutions
Testimonials
Enigma Solutions
Free coaching session
With the New Year in full swing, January gone and the end of financial year looming for many of us, are you any closer to achieving your organisational and personal goals? If you're determined that this is the year that you're finally going to get to grips with your career, your life or your organisation, if you want to find and live your passions and have a starring role in your own life, it's time to take action. We all know how busy life can be, so I’m giving the gift of a free 25 minute coaching session to the first 12 people who contact me.
This is a practical and effective way of helping to you to start the planning process for your year and deal with whatever's niggling you. You will leave the session with:
• Clarified goals.
• A "next step" action plan.
• Increased personal awareness.
• Hidden challenges revealed.
• Motivation to get the results you desire.
When you're ready to take advantage of this offer, please do get in contact to arrange the session.
Best wishes for the rest of the year.
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