Gaia Community: Adie's Blog

Where is Your Attention?

http://AdieDeCoursey.gaia.com — Sun, 08 Mar 2009 23:44:14 GMT

I've started "trying" to get myself back into shape by stretching, running and doing various other exercises. I'm on week four... and it's not as easy as I remember!

I went for my usual short run tonight. Because it was a cold and windy London/Surrey night, I was wearing a hooded top. The hood was low over my eyes and this meant that I could only focus on what was in front of me and on taking the next step...

The funny thing is, that - although I did the run very slightly more quickly than I have most times before - the run was MUCH easier...

I wonder if that means something...

Tags: Running, thinking, focus

What did you, or do you, like most about school?

http://AdieDeCoursey.gaia.com — Fri, 06 Mar 2009 20:49:51 GMT

:) I was a sporty boy at school (house captain, wheich meant I lead lots of the sports teams), I guess that helped me to - just about- stay in the top academic stream... And I had lots of good friends, some of whom I'm still in contact with.

Looking back, I guess the teachers lack of flexibility in how they taught pupils is part of what led me to what I do now... And all these years later, I've become friends with my old head teacher who lives around the corner from me.

Tags: QaR, school, education, learning

Only Feedback...

http://AdieDeCoursey.gaia.com — Mon, 04 Feb 2008 23:29:30 GMT

"I believe the greatest gift I can conceive of having from anyone is to be seen by them, heard by them, to be understood and touched by them."

Virginia Satir

Sometimes we feel like we’ve let our friends down, let our mentors down, let our families down and let ourselves down if we have to go back into work after an attempt to strike out on our own.

Sometime when we go back, we hear those “alien voices”, the one who “told us so”. These can often be from the people closest to us, the people who love us the most: family and friends. I wonder whether they are doing the best they can with what they have available to them. What has to be true for them to be acting in this way? Are they afraid of change? Do they want to keep things comfortable? Are they afraid you will get hurt? What is the positive intention behind what seems like negative behaviour?

Going back to work for someone after a setback in your own business can be a positive thing. If the person you work for able to employ people, then they are probably fairly successful. If you must go back, what would happen if you worked for someone who was doing the things you want to do. That being the so, what would happen if you took the opportunity to model them? Suppose you were able to figure out how they do what they do and how they do what they do that makes them successful. What makes them tick?

~*~

New Year is the obvious time of year for us to make that "fresh start". We've been making New Year's resolutions since ancient times - many anthropologists believe that the tradition goes back as far as 153 B.C. - and breaking them for just as long. If media reports are true, over 80% of people who made New Year resolutions fail by the end of January.

Recent research found that one in five professionals are unhappy in their current role. A further third were unsure and considering their future. It also found widespread itchy feet, nearly a quarter of staff admitted that they expect to spend only a year or less in their job and half are planning to spend less than three years in their current role.

Three things characterise successful people and organisations: they know what they want, they have a plan, and they believe in themselves. If you don't know where you're going, you'll never get there and if you do you won't recognise it.

So, now that January has come and gone, try something different. Make just one resolution: to spend time thinking about what you've learned, what REALLY want to achieve and to start developing a strategy to get you there. Make February your month for "strategic planning": you wouldn't start a work project without knowing what you're trying to achieve, so apply the same planning to both your work and your own life.

In order to stick with your new resolution and see it through, you need to have a plan, and you need to have ways to deal with obstructions when they hit and opportunities when they arise – because they will! Here are some tips to get you through:

1. Complete the Reflections documents (in My Photos) to kick-start your thinking.

2. Create a detailed plan to reach your goal. You may be familiar with using the SMART model for our business objectives. (SMART = Specific, Measurable, Achievable, Realistic, Time-bound.) I'm going to suggest the PACER model to prompt your thinking:

P = Positive
What specifically do you want? (rather than what you don't want)

A = Achievement
How will you know you have it?
How will you measure it?
What will you see, hear, smell, taste, feel (as appropriate)?
How would someone else know you had it?

C = Context
When do you want it? (in what situations?)
When don't you want it?
With whom?
Where?
When do you want it by?

E = Ecology
What would happen if you got it?
If you get what you want, would you loose anything?
Is it representative of who you are and where you want to be?

R = Resources
Can you initiate and maintain it?
Is it achievable?

3. Find people to help you with your vision. (The person doing the business plan, a coach, networks, etc)

4. Remind yourself that YOU are in control of your career, your business and your life.

5. Find one great person who completely supports your vision. This is someone you can call if you are struggling to stay with your resolution. Find someone who will hear you without judgment and offer gentle but firm encouragement to keep you going. In other words, find positive influence to counteract the negative influences all around us. A coach is a great person to use for this.

6. Address what motivates you and work with sound, images, emotions and anything else that will stimulate you.

7. Create a Dream Board, like this:
a. Purchase a large piece of paper or poster board, thumbtacks, glue and sticky tape.
b. In the centre of your board put a picture of you as you’d really love to be.
c. Cut out pictures or words that represent your dreams stick them to your board. The more pictures you can use, the better. (Or draw pictures and stick them to the dream board if that makes you happier).
d. Tack it on the wall.
e. As you continue to achieve your goals and dreams – or as to evolve – keep adding to the dream board, or create replacement dream boards.
f. Spend a few moments contemplating it before you good to sleep.
g. Spend a few moments in front of it before you start your day!

8. Start your day by setting Intentions for that day. An intention can be defined as: “a statement of purpose” or the thought behind the thought… influencing our actions. Intentions are different from goals. They are less measurable. They are more about creating the flavour and direction of the day and might be the biggest component in creating changes in your life. If you set an intention to be “inspirational”, “loving”, “dynamic”, “open and receptive” or “confident and welcoming”, or “present, engaged and listening” or “respectful”, or “happy and healthy”, or “focussed” this will inform how you show up in the world, how you behave and the actions that you take. Intention comes before action.
(See my blog for more on this.)

9. Get a coach!

~*~

My friend Richard says you can’t fail before you’re dead, because there’s still time to do something different.

By way of illustration, here’s a short version of an old, old story that may have been set in China, or Africa or South America… doesn’t really matter. Many of you will already know it…

There was an old woman who owned a farm. One year the crops were very bad and it seemed like she would really suffer.

The neighbours came to her and said: “Old woman, your crop has been poor, now you may have to lose your land!”

To which the old woman replied: “Maybe”

The next morning when the village awoke, they noticed that a wild stallion had run into her corral and seemed to be stuck there.

Now horses were highly valued in that area and when the other villagers saw that they rushed to her and said:

“Old woman, you’ve managed to capture the best stallion from the mountains, you’re saved!”

To which the old woman replied: “Maybe”

The next morning, when they looked again, the stallion had escaped back into the mountains. When the villagers saw this they went back to the old woman and said:

“Old woman, now things are worse than ever, you had all that wealth and now it’s gone. How awful!”

To which the old woman replied: “Maybe”

Then the next morning, as the sun was rising, there came something like the sound of thunder rolling down from the mountains. And as the villagers looked out of their homes they saw a huge herd of horses, led by the wild stallion, running into the old woman’s farm.

The villagers were full of joy and ran to the old woman and said:

“Old woman! See your herd of horses! Now you’re richer than ever!”

To which the old woman replied: “Maybe”

And the next morning, the old woman’s son thought he should like to have the stallion for his own. So he went to the corral, threw a saddle on the stallion and jumped onto it. And the stallion was a proud horse, king of the herd, and would not be ridden by any man. So he threw the boy off his back and the boy broke his leg.

When the villagers saw the boy lying there, broken, they carried him back to the old woman and wailed:

“Old woman, what will you do? Now that you son is injured who will work for you? You have nobody to help you. You will lose everything!”

To which the old woman replied: “Maybe”

And the next day, the soldiers came and took all the able bodied men to fight in the war, and the old woman’s son was spared because of his injury.

And as they wept as they watch their son’s disappear over the mountains they cried to the old woman:

“Old woman, you are the lucky one. I sons may died in the battle and you still have yours.”

And old woman replied: “Maybe…”

Adie DeCoursey
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With the New Year in full swing, January gone and the end of financial year looming for many of us, are you any closer to achieving your organisational and personal goals? If you're determined that this is the year that you're finally going to get to grips with your career, your life or your organisation, if you want to find and live your passions and have a starring role in your own life, it's time to take action. We all know how busy life can be, so I’m giving the gift of a free 25 minute coaching session to the first 12 people who contact me.

This is a practical and effective way of helping to you to start the planning process for your year and deal with whatever's niggling you. You will leave the session with:
• Clarified goals.
• A "next step" action plan.
• Increased personal awareness.
• Hidden challenges revealed.
• Motivation to get the results you desire.

When you're ready to take advantage of this offer, please do get in contact to arrange the session.

Best wishes for the rest of the year.

Tags: New Year, Resolution, Success, Plan, SMART, PACER, Change, Reflections, Love

"Climate Change?"

http://AdieDeCoursey.gaia.com — Tue, 08 Jan 2008 14:46:30 GMT

This is worth watching...

If you can see it, check it out here on YouTube.

Adie

Tags: Climate Change

My friend Sten...

http://AdieDeCoursey.gaia.com — Thu, 21 Jun 2007 22:56:05 GMT

... is a smart bloke and a funny bloke. In the early days of my training, he taught me loads. He's also co-author of "Habit Busting", which Amazon describes as "straightforward strategies for bringing out your best. With wit and humor, the authors show how in just 21 days you can turn a bad habit into a healthy one that can last a lifetime". Anyway, he also thinks he's a bit of a poet. I'm not convinced (although the subject or subjects are a bit tricky)... Adie, what can I say? If you want coaching results Call for him without delay With his guidance as resource Hidden options will expand, You’ll set a new course Through charming discourses With Adie, you’ll discover you’ve Unexpected resources He’s the one to select When you want coaching. Charming And disarmingly direct. Maybe he should stick to the prose!

Tags:

When you think you can't go any further...

http://AdieDeCoursey.gaia.com — Mon, 21 May 2007 17:35:45 GMT

... watch this!

Facing the Giants

A :D

Tags: Effort, best, keep going, Perseverance

On Happiness...

http://AdieDeCoursey.gaia.com — Wed, 09 May 2007 13:02:28 GMT

I was chatting with a friend of mine, who sought my advice because somebody they know sometimes goes into a spiral of unhappiness. Now, I've heard - and I'm inclined to agree - that the worst vice is AD vice. That said, I did have some thoughts, which I thought I'd also share here:

There are some people who think that being happy or being unhappy are things that we have no control over and that those who are happy are naturally that way and just lucky. “Happy people are born, not made.”

I completely agree. So here’s my question: how many people reading this were born?

Luckily for the rest of us, there are people (positive psychologists, coaches, neuro linguistic programmers among them) who have studied and modelled what those naturally happy people think about, what they believe and what they do so that the rest of us can practise and become happy born people too.

PLAN to be happy

I have a process that I call “State-to-Action Planning ^TM”. It’s a variation on my five-step planning process for meetings, presentations, interviews, etc and has four very simple steps:

1. What do you want?

2. How do you have to feel (what State do you have to be in) to do that?

3. What do you have to think about in order to feel that?

4. What action do you have to take to think that?

STATE

I mentioned state up there. Having great states (and great flexibility of states) is vital to creating the things we want. Intention and attraction are important too, and the right states can enable us to take the actions we need to achieve our dreams, goal and aims.

State is created by a combination of our physiology (the way we hold our body, the level of relaxation, internal physical feelings, etc), our internal representations (thoughts, pictures, sounds, etc) and the external feedback we receive. (See “STATE” picture in my blog and gallery.)

Being able to change and control our states is a great starting point for every interaction; even those with ourselves. Once we have the right state, it can drive our attitude, the quality of the questions we ask, the suggestions we make and the level of rapport we will develop in every interaction.

Ask the right QUESTIONS

The questions we ask also play an important part in our levels of happiness. Often when something goes wrong, we ask ourselves something like “why does it always happen to me?” Every question we ask ourselves or other people directs our/their attention in a particular direction… And asking “why” can be a dangerous game.

Why? Because normally the first thing we say to a “why” question is “because”, which is a message to our minds to go and find all the reasons. So perhaps it's better to ask something like “what options are open to me now?” or “how can I make this better?” or “who can I get support or information from?” That way our minds are facing in the right direction. I “try” only to ask myself why questions when I want to know why I did something really well or why I’m such a good person. (Of course I don't always succeed!)

Other ways to use questions are to challenge negative thoughts and responses. In positive psychology they have something called an ABCDE minus form, which is great for challenging negative thoughts and NLP has great processes like the Clearing Process, for when we react to someone in a way that does not add to our happiness. (We can also support positive thoughts and experiences by using the ABCDE plus format.)

LOGICAL LEVELS
Some people find that a good way to think about your life is in terms of logical levels. This idea was originally discussed by Robert Dilts. (See “Logical Levels” picture in my blog and gallery.)

I think about them as levels that can impact on my life… By making a relatively small change higher up the levels, we can have a greater impact lower down, rather like degrees on a map. So if you’re flying from say, London to New York, you only have to be one degree off course at the start to miss the destination by miles.

This is how I apply them to myself:

Spiritual (which asks: “what is life all about?”). This relates to the idea that we are part of a system that reaches beyond ourselves to our family, friends, communities and beyond. For some this includes religion, and for others quantum ideas. The thinking is, if we can make even small changes in this area, it can have larger knock-on effects in the other areas.

Identity (which asks: “who am I now? Who am I becoming? How will I know I’ve had a good life?”). Identity factors can determine our overall purpose (mission, life calling, choose your phrase of choice). We construct our identity based on our personal history (be that social, ethnic, sexual, national or whatever). Who we think we are will shape our beliefs and values, what we think we are capable of, how we behave, whether we think we have a choice about where we are and where we choose to be. The spiritual dimension can be a very personal area, so coaches will often work from this level to create changes in other areas.

In positive psychology, one of the principles said to enhance happiness is to seek out meaning in our lives. Perhaps identity and spirituality are good places to think about this...

Beliefs & Values (which ask: “what do I believe about myself? About others? About what I can do? What are my values? What do I value?”). What we believe to be true about ourselves can reinforce, motivate and allow us to be capable of the things we do. It can also “prevent” us from being capable of certain things. Coaches will often do a lot of work around the beliefs we hold.

Another positive psychology is to count our blessings. I practise this everyday by writing three blessings (or three things I'm grateful for) in my journal. These can be anything from "it was sunny today", to "I got that great job", to "someone smiled in the street". Writing three different blessings or things I'm grateful for each day, and reviewing them every week or so, is great for raising my spirit.

Capabilities (which asks: “What are my core competencies? What are my skills?”). Our capabilities can guide and direct our behaviour. We will normally only do the things we think we are capable of doing. In certain circumstances, a coach will encourage us to take an action that we do not feel capable of. This can provide a strong counter-example to a belief and shake up our whole system, providing us with a new range of options and opportunities.

Positive psychology has something to say about this too; play to your strengths. Strengths in this context are different from talents. Talents are means to an end (sales, public speaking, typing) and strengths are an end in themselves (kindness, loyalty, loving). (If you're not sure of your strengths, you can find out by going to the University of Pennsylvania's positive psychology website and registering there. Once you're in, it's very simple to use and you can find out your strengths by completing the VIA Signature Strengths questionnaire.

Behaviour (which asks: What do I do?”). Sometimes, called “Doings”, this is the specific action (or reaction) we take within our environments. As I suggested above, if we can change our behaviour, it can affect our environment. Similarly, changing our behaviour can expand our capabilities, can shake our beliefs and start to alter our identity.

Environment (which asks: “Where do I live, work, play? Where else do I go?”). Where we are geographically, in our lives, in our careers and in numerous other ways, can determine the opportunities open to us, or the situations we have to react to. This level is occasionally called “Context”. If we change our environment, we can change the external influences. And if we change the way we react to our environment, we may see the environment itself change in response.

As you’re probably figuring our, calling them Logical Levels and discussing them in a hierarchal manner is merely a “useful lie”. Because we’re dynamic thinking beings who sometimes learn from our experiences, change at any of the levels can cause changes at any (or all) of the other levels. The story below is – I think – a good illustration.

I have a close friend who has recently fallen in love. This man – we’ll call him Guy – is extremely smart. He went to one of the top engineering schools to get his first degree, and one of the top Ivy League business schools to get his MBA. As you can imagine, Guy has prided himself on his clear thinking and logic, always being able to see solutions – in his opinion, better solutions – before anyone else.

Now, since he met the woman he is in love with – let’s call her Eve – his life has been a bit of a roller coaster. They’ve been together and split up a number of times. She wasn’t smart enough, she wasn’t serious enough, she didn’t think enough, etc, etc.

Suddenly, about six months ago, Eve finally got tired of it and decided that they should have a break for a few months during which time they would date other people. Guy was devastated.

The scales suddenly fell from his eyes and he started to appreciate her positives. She is a loving, caring and sensitive woman, has great emotional intelligence and is able to connect with people in ways that he was never able to.

Since that point, he has been working non-stop on himself, trying to see what’s great in people, getting in touch and expressing his feelings, opening up to people and connecting with people in new ways.

As a result, his whole life has changed. He has better relationships with his friends, including me, his relationship with his parents has gone from being like almost strangers to a closeness he’s never known before, and Eve is considering taking him back.

That’s what Guy wants – and that was the whole point of his transformation – but he’s realised that he’s the winner whatever she decides, because he’s gained so much richness in his life.

All of this was stimulated by the change in his environment – Eve leaving him – which caused him to examine his behaviour, belief & values and his capabilities.

My first friend's final question amounted to "how do I help them feel worthy?" By looking at the individual pieces of behaviour, thinking and feeling I've talked about, we can start to develop positive and supportive stories about ourselves that provide a store of counter-examples in our unhappy moments. I don't know if anybody is happy all of the time, but I guess being able to bring ourselves back to a happy space more quickly is a good thing.

Tags: Happiness, Positive Psychology, NLP, State, Logical Levels, Strengths, State-to-Action

Show Some Love this Valentine’s Day... and everyday.

http://AdieDeCoursey.gaia.com — Tue, 13 Feb 2007 16:47:46 GMT

The year is flying by! We’re already halfway through February and Valentine’s Day is already almost upon us. This is traditionally a time of year when we spend time looking at ourselves, our relationships and where it’s all headed.

Many people will say that we don’t need one – heavily commercialised – day to show ourselves and our loved ones what they mean to us, but it’s a good excuse to do so and to have some fun in the process. However, we’re all busy people and sometimes showing how we feel can slip a bit. Valentine’s Day gives you the chance to spoil yourself, spoil the people you love and be spoiled with all the little gestures that might have got lost during the year. And it can kick-start you into more loving practises.

It’s almost mandatory to spend this time of the year focussing on love and on the special people in our lives. Each moment is a gift, that’s why they call it the present and being present with your loved ones and yourself is the best gift you can give anyone. Actions speak louder than words and we need to spend time together to stay together.

Straight from the heart

A great way of keeping love alive is to have more Valentine’s Days. Simple gestures – sending love letters, cards, articles and pictures that connect with our loved ones out of magazines – are great ways of showing that you care. It doesn’t have to be everyday, or even every week, but keeping the spirit alive is a fantastic idea.

Passion in Action

We all know how busy life can be. Many of us spend long days commuting, in the workplace and way from home and this can leave us too tired for passion.

Get fit. Stay fit. The fitter you are, the more easily you’ll be able to keep the action in your passion. Exercise makes us happier and gives us more energy… energy we can use to keep the fire in our relationships. They say that even the AVERAGE 20 – 30 year old makes love two or three times a week, the AVERAGE 30 – 40 year old once or twice a week and the AVERAGE over 50 year old goes BACK to two or three times a week! (Who wants to be average?)

Making love is an integral part of showing love. It’s important for retaining the warmth and closeness with your partner and for maintaining intimacy. It’s hard to beat that feeling of connection after a night of passion.

Smile and Kiss

Did you know… kissing relieves tension? A proper passionate kiss is like yoga: a fantastic technique. When you’re engaged in a passionate kiss, your eyes close and your breathing deepens, which is what happens when you relax. When you shape up for a kiss, your mouth is in a shape similar to smiling and it’s almost impossible to hold tension while you’re smiling.

Kissing also prevents tooth decay. According to Dr Peter Gorden, dental advisor at the BDA: “Kissing is nature’s own cleaning process. It stimulates saliva flow and brings plaque levels down to normal.” And it’s free!

Where Are You?

Did you start the year resolving that things were going to be different? Were you planning to start a new activity? Give up a habit? Get fit? Did you want to make a change in your life?

If reports are true, over 80% of people who made New Year resolutions have already failed. One reason for this astonishing statistic is that people often fail to address what really motivates them, focussing instead only on their behaviour.

Many of us experience that gap between our hopes and reality. Many look for answers outside themselves. The truth is - if you know how to look - the answers are within. With the year ticking away, are you any closer to achieving your business and personal goals?

If the answer is “no”, or “dunno”, it’s time to take action. Contact me for a free – no obligation – questionnaire to that will help you gauge where you are and quantify the gap to where you want to be.

Fourteen Tips to Show Some Love

Valentine’s Day isn’t all about showing love to others. If you don’t love yourself, it’s really hard to show real love to others. Even if you’re currently single, apply these tips to yourself as well as the important people in your life.

Do three random act of kindness for strangers and don't get found out.
Write a love letter – or try your hand at a poem – to your partner, detailing what you love about him/her. If you're currently single, write to yourself, detailing everything that is great about you.
Remove things from the bedroom that are not for getting dressed, loving or sleeping and change the sheets.
Light candles around the house.
Decide if you want to spend Valentine's Day by yourself, with friends, significant other or family.
Plan where to spend Valentine's, and make reservations and think of a fun way to get to your destination.
If you are having dinner at home, decide on the menu, make a nice dessert and clean up the house.
Find some uplifting music to play at home or in the car. Start listening to it now.
Compliment your love and yourself at least three times a day.
Get some extra exercise in today; try some yoga moves.
Take a nice, long bath. Exfoliate your skin, and make sure you smell and feel great.
Do three nice things for yourself and your significant other today.
Pick up an uplifting movie, flowers, card (bought or home-made) or anything else you need.
Send a virtual valentine.

"May this Valentine's Day be filled with love, understanding, and contentment as you journey through life with those you hold dear" ~ Darly Henerson

Have a wonderful Valentine’s Day and keep the spirit alive throughout the rest of the year.

Adie DeCoursey

p.s. Please feel free to forward this as an e-mail to your friends, if you think they might find it interesting.

“Come to the edge”, he said

They said: “We are afraid!”

“Come to the edge”, he said

They came

He pushed them

And they flew.”

Apollinaire

Tags: Valentine, Love, Exercise, Kiss, Smile, Relaxation, Show

Creating Powerful Intentions

http://AdieDeCoursey.gaia.com — Wed, 07 Feb 2007 14:50:28 GMT

Wayne Dyer ~ “Our intention creates our reality”

Melanie Votaw ~ “Manifestation: If you intend it, it will come”

Henriette Anne Klauser ~ “Write it down, make it happen”

An intention can be defined as: “a statement of purpose” or the thought behind the thought… influencing our actions.

The fact is, we move through the world with intent, whether we mean to or not. So, if we have intentions, what does this mean? What intentions are we creating unconsciously? What impact do these intentions have on our lives? (How often have you ended up somewhere by accident? Got stuck in a role that no longer serves you?) And what intentions can we consciously create to influence our behaviour, guide our actions and the shape the possibilities that are open to us.

Sometimes the unconscious intentions we hold like: “I don’t want to be dragged into…”, “I don’t want to be late”, “I don’t want to seem…”, “I don’t want to have an argument”, “I don’t want to be seen as…”, “I don’t want to be unhappy” etc, lead us to outcomes that seem to be the opposite of what we do want and leave us wondering why.

The answer is that human brain only understands positive instructions. If you give a negative instruction or create a negative intention, your brain will only process the “positive” part of the statement (e.g. “don’t think about pink elephants” or – a great one for children – “don’t drop that!”). So intend and ask for what you want instead.

~*~

I continue to be amazed at the power of intentions, even those intentions over which we have “no control” and no influence over the outcome.

Intentions are about creating the flavour and direction and might be the biggest component in creating changes in your life. If you set an intention to be “inspirational”, “loving”, “dynamic”, “successful”, “open and receptive” or “confident and welcoming”, or “present, engaged and listening” or “respectful”, or “happy and healthy” this will inform how you show up in the world, how you behave and the actions that you take. Intention comes before action.

There are two stages in creating intentions. The first is awareness; to surface the intentions we already create in our lives and notice their impact. This can be a fascinating and illuminating process. We may think we are operating from one intention, but sometimes find that we are driven by a quite different (often hidden and conflicting) intention. This can lead to struggle and frustration.

The second stage is to actively develop a practice of creating and recording positive intentions. Writing them down and creating other visual representations makes them even more powerful.

Intentions are very personal and potent force and fit for many a purpose. They can be general and wide ranging (influencing how we operate in the world on a grand scale and how we show up in life); they can be more specific (created to influence particular situations) and everything in between.

The bigger intentions we hold in life, the more possibilities that are available to us. There are no hard and fast rules, but these guidelines will help you create powerful intentions:

Clear, simple and unambiguous
Stated in the positive (am/can/create)
Powerfully represented: written/drawn/pictured in a ways that “juice” you and matter to you
Owned (I am/can/create)
Appreciated
Present tense

And remember, your attitude is aligned with your intentions; your intentions are aligned with values. Appreciate each experience and how you can grow from it.

“…being grounded in intention is what provides integrity and unity in your life. Through the skilful cultivation of intention, you learn to make wise goals and then to work hard toward achieving them without getting caught in attachment to outcome. As I suggested to the yogi, only by remembering your intentions can you reconnect with yourself during those emotional storms that cause you to lose touch with yourself. This remembering is a blessing, because it provides a sense of meaning in your life that is independent of whether you achieve certain goals or not. Ironically, by being in touch with and acting from your true intentions, you become more effective in reaching your goals than when you act from wants and insecurities.” Phillip Moffat

I’m passionate about sharing this practice; with friends, family, colleagues, clients and partners. I consciously use intentions in all aspects of my life and work. I create intentions for my client programmes, sharing them and often co-creating them with clients for our work together. I recommend my clients create intentions and invite you to join in. (Even when writing about intentions, I can’t help writing intentions!)

If you haven’t already started to do this, make it your intention for tomorrow morning. Keep a pad by your bed and set aside the time just before you get up to write your daily intentions. Ask yourself: What flavour do I want today? How do I want to feel? How do I want to be? WHO do I want to be? What do I want to have happen today?

If you only make one or two intentions each morning, make them good ones. Once this practise becomes routine for you, you’ll begin to notice how well it works and it’ll become even easier to do more of it. Get clear on your expected results and expect them to show up. Before you realise, life will be even better and more abundant than it is now.

So, what’s YOUR intention today?

Adie helps individuals and organisations who are feeling scattered and overwhelmed by the demands of the work and their life to help them break through the barriers that might be preventing them from achieving the results they are looking for, get clear, focussed and on track so that they can achieve their dreams. He provides coaching as well as leadership, communication, fundraising, sales and other training; and consultancy across the corporate, public and voluntary sectors as owner of Quiddity Solutions, co-owner of Mari~n~Ade and as an associate with other companies.

Tags:

Have a Shay Day

http://AdieDeCoursey.gaia.com — Thu, 18 Jan 2007 14:35:00 GMT

What would you do? …You make the choice. Don't look for a punch line, there isn't one. Read it anyway. My question is: Would you have made the same choice?

At a fundraising dinner for a school that serves learning-disabled children, the father of one of the students delivered a speech that would never be forgotten by all who attended. After extolling the school and its dedicated staff, he offered a question: "When not interfered with by outside influences, everything nature does is done with perfection. Yet my son, Shay, cannot learn things as other children do. He cannot understand things as other children do. Where is the natural order of things in my son?"

The audience was stilled by the query.

The father continued. "I believe that when a child like Shay, physically and mentally handicapped comes into the world, an opportunity to realize true human nature presents itself, and it comes in the way other people treat that child."

Then he told the following story:

Shay and his father had walked past a park where some boys Shay knew were playing baseball. Shay asked, "Do you think they'll let me play?" Shay's father knew that most of the boys would not want someone like Shay on their team, but the father also understood that if his son were allowed to play, it would give him a much-needed sense of belonging and some confidence to be accepted by others in spite of his handicaps.

Shay's father approached one of the boys on the field and asked (not expecting much) if Shay could play. The boy looked around for guidance and said, "We're losing by six runs and the game is in the eighth inning. I guess he can be on our team and we'll try to put him in to bat in the ninth inning."

Shay struggled over to the team's bench and, with a broad smile, put on a team shirt. His Father watched with a small tear in his eye and warmth in his heart. The boys saw the father's joy at his son being accepted. In the bottom of the eighth inning, Shay's team scored a few runs but was still behind by three. In the top of the ninth inning, Shay put on a glove and played in the right field. Even though no hits came his way, he was obviously ecstatic just to be in the game and on the field, grinning from ear to ear as his father waved to him from the stands. In the bottom of the ninth inning, Shay's team scored again. Now, with two outs and the bases loaded, the potential winning run was on base and Shay was scheduled to be next at bat.

At this juncture, do they let Shay bat and give away their chance to win the game?

Surprisingly, Shay was given the bat. Everyone knew that a hit was all but impossible because Shay didn't even know how to hold the bat properly, much less connect with the ball.

However, as Shay stepped up to the plate, the pitcher, recognizing that the other team was putting winning aside for this moment in Shay's life, moved in a few steps to lob the ball in softly so Shay could at least make contact. The first pitch came and Shay swung clumsily and missed. The pitcher again took a few steps forward to toss the ball softly towards Shay. As the pitch came in, Shay swung at the ball and hit a slow ground ball right back to the pitcher.

The game would now be over. The pitcher picked up the soft grounder and could have easily thrown the ball to the first baseman. Shay would have been out and that would have been the end of the game.

Instead, the pitcher threw the ball right over the first baseman's head, out of reach of all team mates. Everyone from the stands and both teams started yelling, "Shay, run to first!If Run to first!" Never in his life had Shay ever run that far, but he made it to first base. He scampered down the baseline, wide-eyed and startled.

Everyone yelled, "Run to second, run to second!" Catching his breath, Shay awkwardly ran towards second, gleaming and struggling to make it to the base. By the time Shay rounded towards second base, the right fielder had the ball ... the smallest guy on their team who now had his first chance to be the hero for his team. He could have thrown the ball to the second-baseman for the tag, but he understood the pitcher's intentions so he, too, intentionally threw the ball high and far over the third-baseman's head. Shay ran toward third base deliriously as the runners ahead of him circled the bases toward home.

All were screaming, "Shay, Shay, Shay, all the Way Shay"

Shay reached third base because the opposing shortstop ran to help him by turning him in the direction of third base, and shouted, "Run to third! Shay, run to third!"

As Shay rounded third, the boys from both teams, and the spectators, were on their feet screaming, "Shay, run home! Run home!" Shay ran to home, stepped on the plate, and was cheered as the hero who hit the grand slam and won the game for his team.

"That day", said the father softly with tears now rolling down his face, "the boys from both teams helped bring a piece of true love and humanity into this world".

Shay didn't make it to another summer. He died that winter, having never forgotten being the hero and making his father so happy, and coming home and seeing his Mother tearfully embrace her little hero of the day!

FOOTNOTE:

If you're thinking about forwarding this message, chances are that you're probably sorting out the people in your address book who aren't the "appropriate" ones to receive this type of message. Well, the person who sent you this believes that we all can make a difference. We all have thousands of opportunities every single day to help realize the "natural order of things." So many seemingly trivial interactions between two people present us with a choice: Do we pass along a little spark of love and humanity or do we pass up those opportunities and leave the world a little bit colder in the process?

A wise man once said every society is judged by how it treats it's least fortunate amongst them.

You now have two choices:

1 Forget about it
2 Send it to your friends

May your day, be a Shay Day.

Tags: love, life, humanity, happy

PEOPLE COME INTO YOUR LIFE FOR A REASON

http://AdieDeCoursey.gaia.com — Thu, 11 Jan 2007 11:46:15 GMT

This came into my e-mail inbox. It's supposed to be a chain, but I've not included all that...

People come into your life for a reason, a season or a lifetime. When you know which one it is, you will know what to do for that person. When someone is in your life for a REASON, it is usually to meet a need you have expressed. They have come to assist you through a difficulty, to provide you with guidance and support, to aid you physically, emotionally or spiritually. They may seem like a gift and they are. They are there for the reason you need them to be. Then, without any wrongdoing on your part or at an inconvenient time, this person will say or do something to bring the relationship to an end. Sometimes they die. Sometimes they walk away. Sometimes they act up and force you to take a stand. What we must realize is that our need has been met, our desire fulfilled, their work is done. The intention you sent up has been answered and now it is time to move on.

Some people come into your life for a SEASON, because your turn has come to share, grow or learn. They bring you an experience of peace or make you laugh. They may teach you something you have never done. They usually give you an unbelievable amount of joy. Believe it, it is real. But only for a season.

LIFETIME relationships teach you lifetime lessons, things you must build upon in order to have a solid emotional foundation. Your job is to accept the lesson, love the person and put what you have learned to use in all other relationships and areas of your life. It is said that love is blind but friendship is clairvoyant.

Thank you for being a part of my life, whether you were a reason, a season or a lifetime.

A:D

Tags: Reason, Season, Lifetime, Friendship, Love